03.02.09
Best Email Ever - I Need Excalibur!
Okay, this is a reprint of an email I received last week. It’s so funny I just had to share. I love my customers 
When I came across the EXCALIBUR sword on your glorious website, I nearly fell out of my car and rolled down the stairs in pure excitement! I swear a blood oath that I heard flutes playing and saw people dancing on top of mountains I was so happy. I need to place an order for this weapon of mass destruction, but first I need you to ensure some of my needs are met.
First, I want the sheath to be made of solid platinum blessed by elven wizards. The blessing must be at least plus 2. Second, whenever I pull my Excalibur from its sheath, I want it to spray lightning all over the room, killing everything within 75 feet of my body. The lightning must be made of 1,000,000 amps… everyone knows amps are much better than stupid volts. Third, I want all people standing near my sword to pop like 16 boners… bigger than the biggest boner ever to live ever. Fourth, I want my sword to be able to fold… I drive a geo metro, and I need to be able to fit it in my trunk. Fifth… I want you to include a pair of Excalibur pajamas with my order.
ryan said,
March 2, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Only 16 boners? I would have opted for the upgrade of 25.
quincyst said,
March 2, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Quite an imagination! Wish I sold stuff that people got this excited about.
Brandon M. Sergent said,
March 18, 2009 at 6:45 pm
The pajamas are a deal breaker.
JV said,
March 19, 2009 at 12:40 am
Yo dawg I herd you like Excalibur swords so we put an Excalibur sword on an Excalibur sword so you can cause people standing your sword to pop like 16 boners while they pop like 16 boners.