12.04.08
Arrrrrrrghhhhh, ya feelin’ lucky punk?!?!
There once was a little boy who loved pirates. His infatuation was actually kind of creepy. Some even said this little boy had a problem, which is why he was admitted to the asylum. Arggghhh this, Argggggh that… it was really annoying, which is why he was given his own room at the psych ward. We shall call this little boy Logan.
Logan was a strange little kid and he got beat up all the time. Surprisingly, Logan was able to rebound rather quickly from these barrages of brutality. On average it only took him about 3 hours to recover.
Shortly after admitting Logan, the hospital was excited to hear about a top secret government project called Barong D, a follow-up project to Weapon X (which resulted in a furry Canadian guy with a metal skeleton which was, years later, taken away by a greedy Magnet). It appeared that working at the “crazy” hospital provided a lot of free time for its employees who used it to learn how to hack into top secret government computer networks. This might have been aided by the fact that the only VHS tapes available were Hackers and The Karate Kid with the swanky chick - boys do cry, and they cry a lot apparently, which is why Hackers was the more popular of the two.
This top secret government project that nobody but the hospital knew about was requesting a really annoying “piratey kid” who could get beat up and recover quickly. Redonk, the janitor of the hospital, was like “Whoa!” (just as Joey L. would say) as he realized that Logan fit the bill. So they sent little Logan away to the government, but not after beating him up one more time to make sure he healed as well as they remembered. Three hours later, he was gone.
13 years passed by, and no one heard anything from that annoying little pirate kid. Suddenly, one fine 13th of Friday in October there was a rap upon the front door. It was signed - “25 cent”. As he grabbed the note, Redonk exclaimed: “I am lucky tonight! Whoa! I should buy a Lotto ticket!”
“ARRRRRGGGGYYYHHHHHH, Ya feelin’ lucky punk?!?!”
Redonk jumped as the piratey sound shivered his timbers. He looked up and saw a strapping young lad who looked an awful lot like that annoying little Logan kid except now he was draped in full Pirate Garb - including the 3 P’s (parrot, patch and peg). He also had two really cool hooks for hands.
“Whoa! Nice hooks mate…”
That was all he got a chance to say as his barnacles were cleaned out with metal.
Redonk obviously was not very lucky.
